RAPT in Plastic

Savage Lullabye

2007-11-22T14:34:00.000-05:00

the silence comes with a sharp shear of summer
whispering it's malicious intent upon waking weight
whimpering the days that have long since passed

slowly she comes down by the eternal waterway
leaving footprints along the cold sharp sandbar
tears fill her eyes, running down, salting fast

staring the horizon steadfast, forced fortification
sliding inside the drydocked wooden watercraft
broken from the tossing turbulence of last storm

Sublime Summer

2007-10-24T19:46:00.000-04:00

sweet sweet sublime summer
resting fevers for each other
flowered breaths breathe bonds
between our moments far too gone

Reply Complete With Errors

2007-10-24T06:24:00.001-04:00

The human condition IS fucking frightening. From the moment we emerge from our nine-month breeding vesicle we are held up into blinding lights and cold wind currents amongst seemingly terrifying creatures, crying because that is all we know to do. But comfort comes, we are warmed in the arms of another and we adjust to the lights. There will always be comfort. Those once terrifying creatures become familiar to us and less terrifying. We are subdued peacefully into our idyllic innocence. But our comfort cannot last indefinitely, unless we are to remain hidden in the warmth of the blanket. We venture out and we grow. And adventure livens us; the wondrous senses that surround our being. And our innocence weakens. With every sensation, with every new discovery. We cannot say that we don’t know; we cannot plead ignorance; we cannot honestly believe that is all good. We fall from grace. Or is it that the world falls from our grace. We see the bullshit. The utter malicious intent of others that is willed. We feel exposed the elements of humanity and see the truthfully terrifying creatures, but we cannot cry because to show weakness is to open a door for them to enter. So we shelter ourselves with the blanket of youth but it has since become worn and we have nothing else. We inflect and see that e must either a)let it desroy us, b)become one the horrendous, or c)… there must be a third way… but it always seems so fucking pointless.

If Children Don't Grow Up

2007-10-07T08:15:00.000-04:00

they say that there's something wrong
when you know that there's nothing wrong
then they tell you that you're smoking lots
but you know it's not
it's just broken hearts
and we're all miss-taught

oh they think they know you
but just you know that they don't own you
oh they think they know you
but just you know that they don't own you

when the atmosphere is getting thick
and our hearts are sinking like bricks
when all the noise bursts through our seams
all we have to do is make-believe

lazily lie in your mother's bed
and later we'll lie to them instead
shine so bright under the sheets
run in the rain through the streets

The Last Son of Jupiter

2007-09-30T03:21:00.000-04:00

Introduction
The following is a collection of a story currently in the works. Essentially just brainstorms, they are numbered according to the order that I wrote them not chronologically in the story.

I.
She's been on my front yard for nearly two weeks now. she's just there in her make-shift vinyl tent doing whatever one would do when camping on a front lawn. she just suddenly showed up one day and she's been there ever since, not showing any signs of retreat. i never saw it coming but really, if it would happen to you neither would you. every time i peer out my front window to catch a glimpse of a passing car rumbling my floors or someone laughing in the sun i always see that fucking ugly tent there, laying seemingly haphazardly. i would really like to make her leave but surely you can admit that not everything is as easy as you may think it is. i suppose the sensible thing to do would be to invite her inside where it is warm and cozy, but the fact that she ended up in the yard in the first place is a pretty ridiculous thing and to invite her in would be, shall we say, ludicrous.
at the risk of redundancy, i just don't know how this stand off will end.

II.
It's the hum. I'll never understand it, but the hum of this place is what gives it life. You can be alone at 3am, and yet you know that you can simply submit yourself to the hum and the loneliness melts away. It saturates your soundscape and resonates in your skull, vibrating your body to the same frequency as the red brick walls, the flapping doors and the plexiglass windowpanes. In essence, you become the same as that which surrounds you and in that there is no alone, only what is. The hum is a soothing lullaby, and I, the child, crying out for comfort.

III.
Damn fucking coffee. Stale two day old coffee. Microwave can give it warmth but it can't make it taste good. Where the fuck is that delivery man? Kids playing in the street. Cars racing down the street swerving to miss them. But no fucking delivery man! At least I have my coffee. Maybe I'll learn to enjoy it while I wait for my package.

I keep looking out the window for the delivery man. There are no longer any kids and a car passes in rare occurance. Waiting is never an activity I've enjoyed. My door is opened several times in a futile attempt to see if
the package has been left in my mailbox. Each try turns up the black bottom of the steel box lined with rusty screws and other unidentifiable metal objects. My mind is racing circles now, like a cat chasing its tail.

When is my package to arrive? The racing stops. I hear a voice say "334." Well, perhaps I shouldn't describe it as a voice; it was more like jsut a thought that popped into my head. A seemingly uninteresting number to most but I take it to mean 3:34, as in the time my package is to arrive. But this is absurd. I am not a psychic. Nor have I ever believed in such things. But nonetheless, I cannot get this idea out of my head. 3:34.

It's 3:00 now and I switch the television that is on but not being watched to an episode of Seinfeld. I stare blankly at the screen but all that is in my head is that time. Not before long the show is over and the clock is showing me 3:29. I pray that 3:34, is just an overactive imagination.

IV.
The voice on the other end of the line had a hypnotic soothing to it. With each word she whispers I fall deeper into a subconscious scene. I swear I've heard this voice before but where? I look at the clock ticking away and think in my dreamy haze that I've been on the phone for nearly 40 minutes, yet I can't recall a word the voice has said to me. As if on cue, the voice suddenly speaks in a different tone, saying only "3, 34," and ending the call. I am left in my kitchen with the phone still at my ear and the dial tone absorbing into my head. I feel alone now. An indescribable transcendent loneliness. I remember feeling this way only once, after a certain surreal dream, when I was a child. This brings up the image of a man with a long jacket but I quickly re-submerge the dream back into the depths of my memory. I let the phone drop to the white laminate floor and write down the only thing I remember about the Voice. What did she mean when she said "3 34?"

V.
...and that night in the cave a strange man appeared before me about two hours into my shift. He was not a worker as he had none of the company regulated safety equipment on. He wore a long tattered forest green jacket and slick black boots and his face was haggard with a long gray beard. I had no idea from where he came - I just turned around and he was there - nor could I understand how he was still standing without a gas mask. The fumes surely would have taken care of him. Up until this point he had been merely standing there, seemingly in his own world, without any knowledge of my existence. But now he was staring directly at me, his eyes empty orbs shooting fear into me. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a shiny stainless steel object out and held it in his hands. From where I stood, I could not tell what it could be, until he raised it and slid his thumb across it, making a flame and igniting the air all around him and myself. As the flames engulfed I could feel my skin and hair melting off of me and I watched it all seep in the earth below. The bright fire blinded me and I slowly receded into an previously unknown darkness. I was alone now and all around me was empty. I looked up to where the old man once stood and in his place was a sight that sucked what breath I had left in me. To my surprise the what had taken his place was another. Someone from my past and someone I paradoxically knew far too well yet never really knew at all. I tried to speak but my lungs felt like a charred black. I simply fell back to the ground and closed my eyes, for the person before me was the 16 year old version of myself.

In My Time Alone

2007-09-30T01:07:00.000-04:00

in my time alone
i have found
that in our time alone
we become unbound
and in our time alone
we're found
to dislike the dissonant sound

but once that time
is done
once we can say
we've had our fun
we must retreat
from our retreat
and retreat into someone

if man is an island
then man is barren
and is only empty sand
if man stands alone
then man can understand
that heart is none
and man is damned

strike the dissonant chord
and note what we're for
strike the disguised word
and forgo what we've come to know
strike the match
and light up your eyes
if only it can be found in our endless night

in my time alone
i have found
that if ever we're alone
it is not as if we're bound
in our time
alone

strange brew

2007-09-29T20:02:00.000-04:00

such a strange thing to see
on a serene night as this
a little man with a blue cap
conjuring a brand new wish

the fire crackles beneath
the black vessel with life
spiraling towards the sky
smoke makes the night seem white

he steps to pick some herb
from his worn leather sack
breaking some apart
he makes up what was lack

a green flame rises
and a cold air blows by
the man's hair stands
and his eyes grow wide

crooked stance with a crooked smile
the old man stirs the crooked stick
a crooked intent breathes the air
a crooked potion bathes the wick

a brief turn to the moon
and the potion seems to move
quickly looking back
nothing without proof

a glare into the pot
breathes a distrust of right
but he knows that he creates
and puts forth his life

crooked stance with a crooked smile
the old man stirs the crooked stick
a crooked intent breathes the air
a crooked potion bathes the wick

Amateur Photography

2007-09-29T05:35:00.000-04:00

in the end
we're all just
looking for a friend

we're all just
looking for an end
to a means to pretend

some years before
we fancy a new hobby
in amateur photography

a chance to capture
ourselves in the eyes
of others

a chance to freeze time
and come face to face
with eternal brothers

sadly,
our interest fades
as eternity will
and all we're left with
is a piece of amateur
technology

Apologies

2007-08-21T05:25:00.000-04:00

My deepest apologies to everyone who reads this.
Which, in all honesty, is only myself.
So I would like to apologize to myself the lack of activity here.
But i suppose a change of ideas has occurred.
Expect writings on a more regular basis.
The writings however will be less academic and more creative.
That is simply the way things will be.

Thank you for your patience.
Or, should i say, thank me.

Language and Sex

2007-04-21T06:15:00.000-04:00

Language is powerful. Words can elicit strong emotions, can lead or mislead, can control the minds and lives of everyday people. This is why feminists have looked to our language to find gender biases. Without a doubt, language is sexist. There are countless examples that show the preference of men in the English language. From words such as “history”, which contains the male pronoun “his”, to “woman” which is obviously derived from “man.” The former example shows the archaic idea that it is men who change the course of time and women have no independent effect. The latter is most likely derived from the idea that Eve was created from Adam’s rib and hence women are simply a derivative of men. However, does society truly need to change language? Is it not enough that we change the ideas of society (which has not yet fully happened) and not waste time and resources? Are not people rational enough to know that language does not imply truth but that language is simply a reflection of past values in society? In general, people are rational and the sexism in our language should not cause the feminist fight to reverse, however, an important idea should be noted. If language truly is a tool of power, then gender biases only gives misogynists (of which there always will exist) an additional opportunity to rationalize their misguided views and to further propagate their views. So although the general population is rational enough or perhaps apathetic enough not to care about defeating sexist language, it is important that is done, if only to defeat a possible tool for the rationalization of hate.

Masturbation Under Christian Rule

2007-04-21T06:08:00.000-04:00

In his 1977 film, Annie Hall, Woody Allen’s character, Alvy Singer, proclaims “Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.” Woody Allen's quirky observation couldn't be any truer, however, society has not always thought of masturbation in this context. Moreover, large segments of today's society still hold masturbation in a negative light and in almost every segment, masturbation holds at least some degree of stigma. This paper will address the varying current perspectives on this sensitive topic and will demonstrate that the stigmatization of masturbation exists because of archaic religious views on sexuality and the human body. Furthermore, it will show that healthy masturbation can and should be part of the ongoing development and maintenance of a person's sexuality.

Before discussing supporting evidence and reasoning for a positive position on masturbation it will be important to first examine the rich history of society and masturbation. The issue must be examined by some important facets of human knowledge; that is, religious views, medical positions, and other secular traditions, all of which are inherently linked throughout history on this topic. Once this is examined, then one can explore the positions that are held today by religious institutions, medical professionals, and general secular society with an understanding and appreciation of each and only then can a sexual ethic on masturbation be developed.

HISTORY OF MASTUBATION

The practice of masturbation is as old as mankind itself. This, of course, is not supported by any evidence but can be safely assumed, since all primates, most notably the Bonozo chimpanzees whose DNA is 98.4% identical to humans, masturbate. Depictions of masturbation, most prominently that of male masturbation, are found in the earliest of ancient societies. In Egyptian mythology, it is said that the sun god Atum masturbated and brought forth the first two souls and the Sumerians credit the god Enki as the source of the Tigris River, who's ejaculation filled it with flowing water. The ancient Greeks had a more practical view on masturbation, promoting it's use to combat sexual frustration that could be destructive. The Greek philosopher Diogenes jokingly credits the creation of masturbation to Hermes, taking pity on his son Pan, who's failed attempt to seduce Echo left him frustrated, and taught him the trick for relief.1

Within the Judeo-Christian traditions, the first caveat against masturbation can be found in the Old Testament. Genesis 38:7-10 says, "Then Judah said to Onan, 'Lie with your brother's wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother.' But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the LORD's sight; so he put him to death also.2"

It can be easily seen that what is being referred to here is not masturbation but coitus interruptus, known as the withdrawal method of contraception. In actuality, there is no biblical passage that has an explicit prohibition of masturbation. Despite this, several passages have been used to justify prohibition and as will be seen later, the story of Onan is the basis for a term describing masturbation, developed in the 18th century. The Jewish Talmud takes the act of Onan and God's subsequent punishment to be a condemnation of masturbation and equates the act to that of murder and idolatry.3 Interestingly enough, only male masturbation is outlawed here, purportedly because of the “spilling of the seed” and female masturbation is not considered because of this. However, upon further consideration, the punishment of Onan could have occurred not because of the fact that he spilled his seed, but because he refused to follow the command of God making the argument against masturbation in this case even less consistent. Despite this, ethicists in early 18th century used the narrative to derive an ethic against masturbation.

At some point between 1708 and 1716 a pamphlet was released anonymously in London, England.4 Its long title was Onania; or, The Heinous Sin of Self Population, and all its Frightful Consequences, in both SEXES Considered, with Spiritual and Physical Advice to those who have already inured themselves by this abodminable practice. And seasonable Admonition to the Youth of the nation of Both SEXES. As is evident in the title, the pamphlet does not place “Onania” in a positive light. This was the first usage of the term derived from the aforementioned story of Onan and subsequently coined a newly defined medical disease. The author defines the sin of self-pollution to be the “unnatural practice, by which persons of either sex, may defile their own bodies, without the assistance of others, whilst yielding to filthy imaginations, they endeavour to imitate and procure to themselves that sensation, which God has ordered to attend the carnal commerce of the two sexes for the continuance of our species.”5 As wordy as it is, the author outlines the rational for immorality of masturbation with this definition. It claims that masturbation is unnatural and defiles because it produces sexual sensations that are reserved by God for procreation. This reasoning was somewhat different than the Jewish position as it was one grounded in Augustinian Christian sexual ethics, holding sexuality in hostility, which is evidenced by the author stating the purpose of the work “is to promote Virtue and Christian Purity.”6 Aside from losing their salvation, those who masturbate are charged, by the author, with the possibility of becoming inflicted with gonorrhea, impotence, epilepsy, and a loss of reason, citing testimonials of chronic masturbation suffers.

The early work of Onania led the Swiss physician Samuel-Auguste Tissot to construct his own description of masturbation in his 1760 work L'Onanisme; ou, Dissertation physique sur les malades produites par la masturbation. Despite the stark similarities in the titles of both works, Tissot maintained that there is no similarity between the two and criticized the 1716 work to have had many factual errors, however considered Onania to be a work that was generally true about masturbation.7

While Onania recommended the purchase of a specific type of medicine to combat masturbation, Tissot's work had no such recommendation; just the caveat to never masturbate. Tissot's cure was cheap and commonsensical and as a result became “an instant literary sensation throughout Europe.”8 With Tissot's already academic prestige and subsequent rise of acclimation, this brought the topic of masturbation into the foreground of mainstream Western society.9 Enlightenment philosophers Immanuel Kant and Voltaire agreed with Tissot's work on the dangers of masturbation and even Jean-Rousseau title character from Emile was considered to be in better condition to fall in love with an inappropriate woman than to succumb to masturbation, which would cause him to “become hopelessly enslaved to himself”10 Tissot's work became the underpinning for over a century of gross misconceptions of masturbation.
Nearing the end of the 19th century, studies in anthropology, animal behavior, sexology, psychiatry, zoology, and other fields showed that masturbation was common among nearly every culture in human history.11 The societal heinousness of masturbation began to weaken as Havelock Ellis released Studies in the Psychology of Sex, first in 1899, and coined the term auto-eroticism, a term that does not have the implied notion of sin, unlike onanism. Aside from correcting misconceptions in the medical community, Ellis also provided an interesting synthesis of religion with auto-eroticism:

"The intimate association between the emotions of love and religion is well known to all those who are habitually brought into close contact with the phenomena of the religious life. Love and religion are the two most volcanic emotions to which the human organism is liable, and it is not surprising that, when there is a disturbance in one of these spheres, the vibrations should readily extend to the other. Nor is it surprising that the two emotions should have a dynamic relation to each other, and that the auto-erotic impulse, being the more primitive and fundamental of the two impulses, should be able to pass its unexpended energy over to the religious emotion, there to find the expansion hitherto denied it, the love of the human becoming the love of the divine.12"

Here, Ellis is suggesting that masturbation is not necessarily in conflict with religious pursuit but can harmonize with it, and that the two are inherently linked.

CURRENT CHRISTIAN POSITIONS ON MASTURBATION

Christianity's position on masturbation is heavily grounded in St. Augustine's restrictive view of sexuality. However, as stated earlier, there is no explicit condemnation of masturbation in either the Old or New Testaments. This has lead to the various Christian traditions to differ greatly on the subject, with conservative denominations regarding it as a sin of the flesh while liberal groups view it as a normal part of an individual's sexuality.

ROMAN CATHOLICISM

The Roman Catholic Church's position on sexuality is not taken from direct biblical references but is traditionally inherent within the church and are is contextually on the Bible.13 This position is grounded in the naturalistic view of the body, in that it was designed for a nuptial and procreative purpose. Roman Catholic morality thus views all non-procreative or non-marital sex as essentially acts against this purpose and that of God. Section 2352 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church outlines the Church's position on masturbation:

"By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. 'Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.' 'The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.' For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of 'the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.'... "

This first part of Section 2352 follows the Church's position that the natural function of the “sexual faculty” is for it to be used only within the context of marriage. The act is deemed a mortal sin, preventing those who have committed it from receiving the Eucharist and possible condemnation to Hell. The section continues as follows:

"To form an equitable judgment about the subjects' moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that can lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability. "

This second clause, in contrast with the first, allows a person, such as a pubescent youth, who is has not reach a proper level of maturity, that has committed masturbation to continue with sacraments, such as the Eucharist, before receiving the Eucharist and such a sin would not be considered a mortal sin.

PROTESTANTISM

The conservative Protestant position on masturbation is primarily in line with the Catholic tradition, however there are a considerable number of conservative and mainline denominations that do not hold masturbation negatively and many that consider it still a sin but a less serious sin than what Catholics and some conservative Protestants consider it to be.

Dr. John White, in his 1993 book Eros Redeemed,, considers masturbation to be sin a for the same natural law reasons of Catholic theology but also calls it a form of idolatry. He states “Our bodies are to be offered to God. Masturbation is to make a god of my bodily sensations, of relief from the tension that I feel. Again, I know that married lovemaking can itself be a selfish pursuit of bodily sensation. But I repeat: it was not designed to be. At that point it becomes lust.”14 Although he does not approve of masturbation, in his 1996 work The Path of Holiness: A Guide for Sinners, he regrets the guilt caused by past condemnation by religious and at the same time regrets society's permissiveness of it. This concept of guilt will be notably important in developing a sexual ethic on masturbation.

Daniel R. Heimbach, a professor of Christian ethics in North Carolina, reaffirms the natural law perspective of masturbation with the following:

"God made sex to be relational, but solitary, self-stimulated sex is never relational... God made sex to be profound, but solitary self-stimulation is shallow. God made sex to be fruitful, but solitary self-stimulation treats sex like a commodity rather than a capacity for production. God made sex to be selflessly God-centered, but solitary self-stimulation is self-centered and self-satisfying. God made sex to be multidimensional, but solitary self-stimulation separates physical sex from everything else. "

With this, Dr. Heimbach brings up an important point in Christian sexual ethics. That is, the relational purpose of sex. Sexuality is not meant to be a simple physical pleasure but also there exists an opportunity and a moral necessity for humans to connect to their spirituality with God and with other people.

Of those that support masturbation within the Protestant tradition, self-control, moderation, and proper intent is emphasized. Gerald Coates summarizes this position well in 1993's Kingdom Now: "Compulsive masturbation, simply for the purpose of self gratification, with other people in mind is wrong. ...But masturbation for the purpose of self control is something altogether different. The act in and of itself is not wrong. When someone is under pressure to the point of distraction, whether single or married, it is often better that they relieve themselves - for at that point no mental stimulation is necessary.15"

AN ETHIC OF MASTURBATION

The issue of masturbation, as has been shown to a fair degree, is one that is certainly not simple to decipher. But with some understanding of where certain positions developed, this can be accomplished. It appears evident, as would be expected, that masturbation is inherently linked with sexuality. Whatever views one has on sexuality will thus be applied to masturbation; any different would lead to inconsistency of an argument. Thus, many negative views on masturbation both historically and presently are attributed to a conservative view on sexuality. Since sexuality, in these traditions, is something that is restricted because of its inarguable potency and can only be practiced under certain conditions, with a specific person, and under the right pretext, masturbation cannot be allowed since it is the self-expression of sexuality without the unitive and procreative qualities of 'virtuous' sexuality. But the fact remains that the majority of people masturbate or have masturbated at some point in their life and there exists a definite strong argument supporting masturbation as a part of a healthy sexuality.
The religious condemnation of the act only produces guilt in those who masturbate, guilt that is apparently non-deserving. If the guilt of the act is removed allowing for more open discussions on the topic then it can only support a healthy fulfilling sexuality under Christian guidance. The parties against the act, however, do have valid concerns. Masturbation, just like any act, especially those sexual in nature, can have powerful effects on people. Addictions and fixations can develop and masturbation is often coupled with pornography or serious sexual fantasies. But these are not reasons to condemn something completely; associated evils with an act does not make an act wrong and masturbation is something which is hard to convincingly argue is wrong in itself. In all actuality it is the keeping of masturbation as a spiritual and religious taboo that prevents the teaching of a healthy view on masturbation as a normal part of person's sexuality that has many possible benefits, including to help a person remain chaste. At the same time, however, masturbations role in a person's life and spirituality needs to be examined consistently and moderation and discernment need to occur.

Works Cited
1 Dio Crysostom, Discourses, iv.20
2Genesis 38:7-10, New International Version
3 Talmud Niddah 13a
4Laqueur, Thomas W. , Solitary Sex (New York: Zone Books, 2003), 13
5Onania, 1.
6Ibid.
7Laqueur, 38
8Ibid., 39
9Ibid., 40
10Ibid. 43
11Ibid., 66
12Elis, Havelock, Studies in the Psychology of Sex, (1927), General Preface
1318 July 1984 Theology of the Body lecture given by Pope John Paul II
14White, John, Eros Redeemed (Washington: Eagle Publishing, 1994), 125
15Coates, Gerald Kingdom Now, (Eastbourne: Kingsway Communications, 2003)